Skit for Youth Groups: “Alcohol’s Cheesy Sales Pitch”
Description:
Cheesy salespeople try to sell lies about alcohol, but the wise TV viewer keeps changing the channel. In this skit, the truths behind the lies are revealed.
Purpose:
To expose the myths about alcohol that we are bombarded with from the media, our peers, and sometimes our friends and family.
Ideal Audience:
Middle/High School
Characters:
•1 TV Watcher who Doesn’t Drink
•5 Cheesy Beer Scam Artists
•1 Good Guy Milk Salesman
Props Needed:
•1 Couch or Chair
•1 TV Remote Control
•1 Square Box That Looks Like a TV Box
•5 Beer Cans
•1 Glass of Milk
Scene:
Non-drinker sits on couch, holds remote out and makes a motion like he is flipping through the channels. Scam Artist#1 appears on the screen with super cheesy sales pitch voice!
Scam Artist #1:
Try this Lite beer from Miller! Available at stores everywhere! Lite beer, it is less calories and doesn’t fill you up!!! Everything you’ve ever wanted in a beer, and remember, it’s LESS!
Non-Drinker snorts and shakes head no.
Non-Drinker:
Hmmm Lite beer huh? I bet it’s LESS alright — LESS common sense for me, LESS money for me, LESS good memories for me — but plenty more headaches and trouble. I DON’T need that kind of less in my life! NEXT Channel!
Non-drinker holds remote out and makes a motion like he is flipping through the channels. Scam Artist#2 appears on the screen with a can of beer and super cheesy sales pitch voice!
Scam Artist #2:
Don’t forget about ice cold, refreshing Busch beer! Head for the Ice Cold Mountains with Busch. Ice Cold Beer, You’ve Earned It!
Non-Drinker looks angry and shakes head no.
Non-Drinker:
No, no, no! That doesn’t even make sense! Drink beer, and head for the ice cold mountains?! If I drink beer I can’t travel ANYWHERE. Duh! Ever heard of drunk driving? Yeah, it’s dangerous and illegal. More like people drink this and crash INTO an ice cold mountain? Yeah what a great advertisement. NEXT Channel please!
Non-drinker holds remote out and makes a motion like he is changing the channel. Scam Artist#3 appears on the screen with a can of beer and super cheesy sales pitch voice!
Scam Artist #3:
We all know it folks! You know it, I know it — We all KNOW it’s true!! Budweiser is the KING of Beers! Have a Bud today.
Non-Drinker rolls eyes and and shakes head no.
Non-Drinker:
So… Budweiser is the King of Beers, huh?! Tell me this, King Budweiser, when people bow down before you… do you tell them that pretty soon they’re going to be bowing down in front of a porcelain throne? Barfing at the toilet all night long!! I personally don’t want some can of beer trying to boss me around. Get lost, King. NEXT Channel please!
Non-drinker holds remote out and makes a motion like he is changing the channel. Scam Artist#4 appears on the screen with a can of beer and super cheesy sales pitch voice!
Scam Artist #4:
Hey, hey , hey! It’s time to live THE HIGH LIFE! Try our beer… The more you drink, the more you will SOAR. Are you ready to live THE HIGH LIFE? Come drink with me!
Non-Drinker acts super frustrated and almost ready to throw the remote control at the TV.
Non-Drinker:
That’s garbage! You talk about the High Life? What about a few hours later about the LOW LIFE? You know, that moment when you come crashing down, down, down… With a massive headache and a hangover that makes you miserable. Put THAT on a commercial and try to sell your poison! NEXT Channel please!
Non-drinker holds remote out and makes a motion like he is changing the channel. Scam Artist#4 appears on the screen with a can of beer and super cheesy sales pitch voice!
Scam Artist #4:
Hey, hey , hey! It’s time to live THE HIGH LIFE! Try our beer… The more you drink, the more you will SOAR. Are you ready to live THE HIGH LIFE? Come drink with me!
Non-Drinker acts super frustrated and almost ready to throw the remote control at the TV.
Non-Drinker:
That’s garbage! You talk about the High Life? What about a few hours later about the LOW LIFE? You know, that moment when you come crashing down, down, down… With a massive headache and a hangover that makes you miserable. Put THAT on a commercial and try to sell your poison! NEXT Channel please!
Non-drinker holds remote out and makes a motion like he is changing the channel. Scam Artist#5 appears on the screen with a can of beer and a super cheesy sales pitch voice!
Scam Artist #4:
Check this out, folks. (takes a long sip) Delicious Courage Beer. Look how it fits in your hand perfectly. Courage Beer. It’s what your right arm is for.
Non-Drinker stands up dramatically, arm down at his side..
Non-Drinker:
Actually, let me show what my right arm is for.
Non-drinker dramatically raises arm with remote, and makes a motion like he is changing the channel. GoodGuySalesman appears on the screen with a glass of milk and super cheesy sales pitch voice!
GoodGuySalesman:
Mmmm, Milk! Fresh dairy. You need it every day. MILK … it does a body good.
Non-Drinker smiles and sits down again to enjoy some TV.
Non-Drinker:
Now this is MY kind of channel.